An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark” (Final Assignment for ENGL200)

An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark”

Nathaniel Hawthorne has received recognition to be one of the most brilliant minds of American literature, primarily for the subject matter he tackled in his varied shorts and novels. Born into an area rich on old Puritan-Christian ideologies, Hawthorne frequently tackled matters of psychology and philosophy—challenging the basis of religious and civil morality; frequently evidence of these arguments were buried within symbolic elements, revealing themselves later toward the end of the narrative. Hawthorne’s The Birth-Mark employs these techniques, allowing the reader to sit and ponder about the tale’s moral as well as which characters might be villainous or heroic.

The Birth-Mark carries multiple symbolic elements, and leaves the reader with an array of morals to decipher—the battles of man against nature, the struggles of character in relationships, the dangers of hubris; interestingly, all of these messages are encompassed in and surrounded by the birth-mark.

Aylmer was a stereotypical man of science—knowledgeable and arrogant, carrying a number of neuroses that would have undoubtedly entertained the like of Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung. In reviewing the way this character was described, we might come to the conclusion that the scientist suffered from narcissism, perfectionism, and something between megalomania and a god-complex. This man wise and worldly eventually fell for the lovely Georgiana—an idealist—whom seemed to be perfect in every way, save one small blemish on her left cheek. Described as a relatively small mark which no other would pay mind, the reddish birth-mark favoring the shape of a tiny, hand was enough to drive Aylmer mad. In Aylmer’s obsession over the imperfection he began to associate the mark with nearly every negative that humanity and the world had to offer; to him the blemish symbolized “his wife’s liability to sin, sorrow, decay, and [die].” (Hawthorne, par. 8)

Following an evening discussion about the mark, Aylmer’s hatred and obsession infected his dear wife. Georgiana—young and naïve, possessing a great love and admiration for her husband—clung to his words, and desired the mark to be removed by the wondrous magic of his science—even if it would possibly result in death. Aylmer hastily proclaimed that he had been concocting methods and formulae in his mind that should yield positive results and forever erase this fault of nature. Aylmer thusly obliged Georgiana’s wishes, disregarding a bad omen received in a dream as well as words to the wise offered by his assistant, Aminadab.

Georgiana, whilst awaiting the procedure in her husband’s laboratory, learns of Aylmer’s varied experiments, finding a journal of her husband’s. Through reviewing the numerous trials—some of which having been failures, and a number of successes that could potentially unravel the lives of many—Georgiana finds how deeply depressed her husband is. Scrawled throughout the volume Aylmer had described failures as catastrophes, successes as failures; nothing seemed to measure up to the expectations he had set. After attempts to stroke her poor husband’s ego—something which she seems to do our of sorrow and love for the down-spirited man—Aylmer confesses that he had already begun experimentation on the mark, long before she had given her consent.

Eventually, Aylmer presents Georgiana with the elixir and watches her drift into a sleep. As he keeps a watchful eye, documenting the drug’s progression, he sees the ill-fated mark slowly fade. Finally, as the mark draws to a point where it has nearly vanished, Georgiana awakens, and announces to her husband that she is dying.

The birth-mark had become another one of Aylmer’s obsessions—an experiment in manufacturing perfection. His haughtiness and belief that he possessed the ability to challenge and change Nature’s design had proven fateful time and again; this time, however, had caused him to sacrifice his wife. Symbolically, the birth-mark represented any ill-perceived notion of the world and universe that man might wish to change. Additionally, the birth-mark carried symbolic representation of the paradoxical statement that within imperfection there is perfection—sometimes what we may see as wrong is right for certain purpose.

An interesting lesson exists with the view of the birthmark as perfect imperfection that can be applied to man and his relationships. On the surface of the story, we could simply read that no good can come from attempting to change the person that is one’s partner; while this is true, further in-depth reading and psychoanalysis of the text reveals much more. Not only did Georgiana’s birth-mark become an experimental project for Aylmer to fix—Georgiana was the project. Often in relationships—especially when they are still fresh, as is depicted in this tale—a partner might see something that is in need of change; frequently this is a reflection of a terrible match of characters or some issue buried in the partner’s psyche (McKenna, 2006 ); “death” of the relationship or the partner “needing” change usually occurs.

In the relationship described in this tale, Aylmer saw the mark and Georgiana in need of change, because they were not “perfect”—an issue with which Aylmer struggled within himself. Aylmer pushed Georgiana into submission, and killed her—mentally, emotionally and physically. Sadly, Georgiana played into this outcome of her own will, and wasn’t completely victimized. On the other side of the relationship, a partner can be so willing and forgiving of the other that any faults that arise must be their own and not that of the other or the two. Georgiana, holding such an idealization and idolization of Aylmer led herself to believe that the words Aylmer spoke were true (McKenna, 2006); as such, she disregarded the many warning signs and allowed for her partner to destroy who she was.

Aylmer, too, represented sins and psychoses present in all man; fortunately many of these inner issues only exist in whatever degree we allow. Further symbolism and flaws in man may be seen with Aylmer’s interactions with Aminadab. Aylmer’s constant reference to him as a man of clay raises a few possible interpretations: in plain context, this may be more of a demeaning term, as it is outlined that Aminadab is more of a common man—common as dirt, and tough or stubborn as clay, perhaps? Looking religiously, however, there are references in the Bible to men being clay (Walsh, 2009). Aminadab, being a “man of clay” seemed to know better than to go against nature as Aylmer did; Aylmer thought himself to be above it.

Aylmer desired to discover all the answers to life, and wished to do so without realizing that he may not worthy of an answer, or that an answer may simply not exist. Tragically, Aylmer failed to possess concepts of patience, acceptance, and serenity. Had these elements been part of his psyche, his entire character would have been very different, and the poor Georgiana might still have life.

Works Cited

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. “The Birth-Mark” ENGL200: Composition and Literature. American Public University System. 2011. McGraw-Hill. PDF/Web. Retrieved from: http://ebooks.apus.edu.ezproxy1.apus.edu/ENGL200/Perkins_2011_unit2.pdf

McKenna, John J. “Lessons About Pygmalion Projects And Temperament In Hawthorne’s “The Birthmark..” Eureka Studies In Teaching Short Fiction 7.1 (2006): 36-43. i Web. 29 July 2012.

Walsh, Conor. “Aminadab In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s THE BIRTH-MARK.” Explicator 67.4 (2009): 258-260. Academic Search Premier. Web. 29 July 2012.

---

“An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark” (Final Assignment for ENGL200)” was originally published on J. Palmer

Annotated Bibliography

Using the information from this week’s reading material, submit an Annotated Bibliography of five sources from your Working Bibliography. First, put the source in the correct citation format for your particular curricular division, and then write a brief annotation (summary and use) of that source. Follow the student example and indicate the name and number of the Hacker ( http://www.hackerhandbooks.com/resdoc) model you are following for each source. Points will be deducted if you fail to do this. Remember, your final paper must include a minimum of seven sources with at least four sources coming from peer-reviewed journals taken from the APUS library.

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Prof. Myron
COLL300
Annotated Bibliography: APA Style
July 7, 2012

As the requirements of this assignment are to compose an annotated bibliography while making note of which resource model used, sources are categorized by model number and alphabetized by author. Annotations immediately follow the source in italics.

Hacker Social Sciences Model # 7 & # 10 – Article in a Journal with three to seven authors:

Aten, J., Leavell, K., Gonzalez, R., Luke, T., Defee, J. & Harrison, K. (2010) Everyday Technologies for Extraordinary Circumstances: Possibilities for Enhancing Disaster Communication. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 3(1), 16-20.

This article highlights a few of the commonly used social networks and personal communications devices that have potential for use in disaster situations. Multiple examples are given in the article to “tested” use of the technologies within the article. In addition, supporting evidence of the potential reach is given through the mention of statistical information on a few of the networking sites.

Mills, A., Rui, C., JinKyu, L., & Rao, H. (2009). Web 2.0 Emergency Applications: How Useful can Twitter be for Emergency Response? Journal of Information Privacy & Security, 5(3), 3-26.

This article speaks specifically on the use of the social-networking site, Twitter. The article gives a background on the founding of the network–including the original concept of the service surrounding SMS communication. The article highlights the benefits of Twitter’s API and SMS gateway; the article delves into discussion of how the service has been used in disaster communication, and provides statistical information.

Hacker Social Sciences Model # 7 & # 11 – Article in a journal with eight or more authors:

McCauley-Bush, P., Mohammad, J., Gaines, S., Llewelyn, C., Armbrister, P., Watlington, A., … Cohen, S.. (2012) Assessment of Communication Needs for Emergency Management Officials in High-Consequence Emergencies. Journal of Emergency Management, 10(1), 15-25.

This article was written more as a study and report of communications technologies within a certain geographic area of Florida. The article uncovers some statistical information on what devices are currently in use by emergency managers and the comfort-level these individuals have with technology. Most useful for the purposes of this project will be the information regarding the wide-spread use of smart-phone devices amongst EM professionals; these statistics will be incorporated with information on the use of Twitter, Facebook and other services to reflect the ease of sharing disaster information with the public.

Hacker Social Sciences Model # 30 – Article in an online journal:

Underwood, S. (2010). Improving Disaster Management. Communications of the ACM, 53(2), 18-20. doi:10:1145/ssre:1646353:1646362

This article addresses some of the emerging uses of technology surrounding the use of mobile phones—specifically those being addressed by Calit2. Though the article is more on the side of discussing Calit2’s research, it contains interesting “sound-bites” discussing the importance of “citizen journalism” and “dual-use” technologies. This article pairs quite well with the one written by Aten et al, and can be used for further foundation on how monitoring and interacting with the public via social media outlets is becoming paramount in effective disaster communication.

Hacker Social Sciences Model # 31 – Article in an online magazine:

Hoover, J. (2011, January 19). FEMA To Use Social Media For Emergency Response. InformationWeek. Retrieved from: http://www.informationweek.com/

A simple article discussing the aim of FEMA in using social media for emergency response; this article is the underlying concept of the research assignment. Contained in this article are quotes from FEMA administrator, Craig Fugate—an avid Twitter user.

---

“Annotated Bibliography” was originally published on J. Palmer

Paraphrasing and Direct Quotations

Forums: Week Five Paraphrases and Direct Quotations

Following the guidelines in this week’s reading, post a direct quotation from one of your sources as it would appear within the body of your research paper. Be sure that you introduce your quote with a signal phrase, provide some commentary for the quote, and include the appropriate in-text citations for your documentation style. Follow the source material with closing commentary or analysis to link it to your thesis/purpose. Next, paraphrase the same quotation and use a signal phrase and closing commentary to demonstrate how the paraphrase would appear in your research paper; include an in-text citation in the documentation style you are using for your paper. Be sure to label which documentation style you are using and include the appropriate bibliography entry as the source will appear on your works cited, reference, or bibliography page. Your initial posting is due no later than midnight Thursday and should be 250-300 words; your peer responses are due by Sunday midnight and must be at least 100 words in length and move the conversation forward.

Note: The focus on the forum posts is on quality content, not simple meeting a minimum word requirement.

In an article discussing the potential use of technologies for disaster communication, Jamie D. Aten and his peers underline the growth and importance of social media:

Social networking sites, such as MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, and LinkedIn, have become an increasingly popular way for people to stay in constant communication with each other. More than four out of five adults sign access social media Web sites every month. (Aten et al., 2010)

Taking note of the importance, the authors continue to suggest that:

Social networking sites could be used in a number of ways during disaster circumstances, from posting, sharing, and downloading disaster information, to updating news and pictures of developing disasters. For example, the social networking site Flickr, could be used to post disaster pictures to inform people within their Web site community. Moreover, the disaster pictures could actually be tagged by location, so other followers can pinpoint exactly where a photo was taken. The emergence of Internet connections on cell phones will allow users to reach these Web sites without the need of a computer, enabling news to be posted and received even more quickly. Information can be posted to family, friends, pre-established groups or networks, or the general public, who can, in turn respond directly to those at the site of the disaster. (Aten et al., 2010)

If we consider the points and examples given in this article, we can easily see how integrating these tools into approaches and efforts in emergency and disaster management would be of great benefit. The emergency manager would have the ability to be a part of this information process, through dissemination of information directly from the emergency operations center to any of these media outlets, as well as monitoring the same outlets for “community reports”.

—

There have been a great number of people across the nation recognizing the importance and growth of social media in the day to day lives of the average citizen. An article in the American Psychological Association’s Psychological Trauma, Jamie Aten and a team of his peers inform us that a recent study shows that on average four out of five adults make use of social media sites every month (Aten et al., 2010). With these numbers, it becomes inherently clear how important the role of social media has become to the public for keeping in touch with news and family.

From an emergency/disaster management viewpoint, the potential of use of these online services is intriguing. In the same article, Aten offers example of how one service, Flickr—a photograph sharing service—could be used for the posting and sharing of disaster photography in near real-time (Aten et al., 2010). Additionally, such a photograph could come directly from the scene via cell-phone, and be geo-tagged by the device’s GPS, giving a specific location of the hazard being photographed.

By being an active participant in these social media outlets, the emergency manager can get up to the minute reports from the public; the emergency manager can also publish reports and information—as well as selected materials from individuals in the public—back into these social media news feeds.

—

Works Cited:

Aten, J., Leavell, K., Gonzalez, R., Luke, T., Defee, J. & Harrison, K. (2010) Everyday Technologies for Extraordinary Circumstances: Possibilities for Enhancing Disaster Communication. Psycological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 3(1), 16-20.

—

This post received the following comments:

Joseph Bailey (July 4, 2012 at 4:43 PM):

Hi Jeremiah,

I read your forum and thought it was interesting, informative and enlightening the way you brought out we all use social media like face book to keep in constant communication with each other such as friends, family and even business. I think what you wrote was great and the way you Incorporated the direct quote into your work was good but what I don’t understand is your not using quotation marks when quoting a source. You are the second person in this class that did not use quotation marks when quoting a source I am not trying to get you in trouble I just want to learn and I am a little confused on using quotation marks while quoting a source. I believe we are suppose to every time we quote any source in our work using what they say to back us up. I looked over your work and thought other than not using quotation marks you wrote a good forum.

Jeremiah Palmer (July 7, 2012 at 11:36 AM):

In APA formatted documents long quotations do not require quotation marks, as the quoted material is blocked and indented–the fact that it is a quote is understood. Parenthetical notation immediately follows the final line of the quoted content.

For paraphrasing, quotation marks aren’t necessary either, unless there is an exact quote contained somewhere within the summarized content. Parenthetical notation follows the end–but before the end punctuation–of the precise sentence which makes reference to the original/sourced idea; if the entire paragraph is a summary of one source–without any additional thoughts added–then notation can follow the end of the paragraph, signifying that the entire paragraph is a summary.

…also, I’m used to formatting documents in HTML and placing long quotes between <blockquote> tags–which tell the browser to format the text that way; I likely would have forgotten the quotation marks for my direct quotes if I weren’t using APA, because I type things up here using the “source view” instead of the WYSIWYG tools most of the time!

…for reference, my favorite tool on decoding the mysteries of documenting sources: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/02/ –of all the material I’ve been given or assigned over the years, Purdue’s OWL has helped me the most.

---

“Paraphrasing and Direct Quotations” was originally published on J. Palmer

Governing Local Land Use

In a 2-3 paragraph statement, discuss whether or not the federal or state government should govern local land use in disaster mitigation. Be sure to provide evidence that supports your response and cite any references you use. Respond to a classmate’s post with a 2-3 paragraph statement on why you agree or disagree with the others’ post.

Please start a new thread when creating your initial post and write any responses to others within their existing discussion threads. To receive full credit, be sure to respond to at least one of your classmates’ postings.

In my opinion, the current and founding concepts of land ownership/use—being at the discretion of the individual with guidance from the local and escalating governing bodies—is functional and provides the best methods for establishing plans, legislation, or “taking” land with disaster mitigation as the concern.

As a general “rule”, the federal government has no interest in land, aside from federally recognized areas of concern—such as large wildlife preserves/national parks; military installations and points concerning national security; borders/ports/transportation systems affecting commerce; and widely recognized ecological/environmental concerns. Further regulation of land falls to the responsibility of the state, as the governing body of the state should better represent the needs of that specific area/region/community of people (Schwab, et al; 147-8).

State level governance of land recognizes the concerns of the federal government, while applying, recognizing and regulating concerns within the political and/or natural borders of the state. State governance—while establishing stronger regulation—also provides guidance for local governmental bodies.

Ultimately, it is the responsibility of the local governments to enforce and police very specific needs of land and people—unless this power has not been delegated by or inherited from the state (Schwab, et al; 150) ; it is not uncommon, however, for the local governing bodies to be ill-equipped or incapable of enforcing regulations, conducting feasibility studies, or making purchases of land for mitigation efforts. As such, aid in the form of grants or state/federal recovery and mitigation projects are applied for by the local community (FEMA, 2010).

References

FEMA. (2010). Grants and Assistance Programs for Governments. Retrieved July 4, 2012, from: https://web.archive.org/web/20120322123227/http://www.fema.gov:80/government/grant/government.shtm

Schwab, A., Eschelbach, K., & Brower, D. (2007.) Hazard Mitigation and Preparedness. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

---

“Governing Local Land Use” was originally published on J. Palmer

Literature and Performance

Whether a written work be a short-story, a novel, or a performance piece, certain essential elements are included in the piece to aid in the development and direction of characters, setting, and plot. Performance pieces—such as plays and movie scripts—often limit how often scenery and direction appear within the text, leaving only specifics to the author’s visions in place.

This week we are prompted with the question of which of the two plays—The C Above High C and The Importance of Being Earnest—relies heavily on the performance elements; we were also asked how this affects the experience of reading the work. After review, I would have to argue that Reed’s “ …High C” uses performance at a degree much higher than that of Wilde’s “…Earnest”.

“…Earnest” is very heavy on dialogue—as is to be expected—and limits direction to initial scene settings, and vocal or expressive cues for the character. These instructions are important, yet if any of the performance elements were removed, the ability to perform the story remains; suggested or understood tone in the dialogue allow for the reader/director to envision the missing elements—due, in part, to the logical progression of the story. “…High C”, on the other hand, goes much further in plot and character development through the use of background action, sub-scenes, visual cues, and shifts in timeline—striking any of these elements and relying solely upon the dialogue would be a confusing nightmare.

Plot and character development in "…High C" also make way for political statements, symbolism, as well as satire—many of these points being lost if we were to use the dialogue alone; for example:

Symbolism, Irony

Louis, after his performance, applies facial cream—so much that his face is “white” in appearance. This element is not mentioned in dialogue and is kept in direction only. Louis is a fairly dark—though not very dark—complected African-American man. He is accepted by both “white” and “black” audiences; yet in a community of rising “black” entertainers—beboppers—he is seen as being very dark—Uncle Tom-like (Reed, I.1.7-8). All of this is mentioned and used during the continual application of facial cream while conversation also expands to the discussion of racial equality.

Symbolism, Satire, Comedy

The character of J. Edgar Hoover is described and portrayed as a short, fat, black transvestite (Reed, I.2.77-80; II.2). Rumors are fairly widely known of Hoover having been a transvestite and possibly bi-sexual or gay; adding the characterization of Hoover being dark-skinned adds an element of satirical humor—creating a visual representation of how Hoover isn’t “accepted as a white man” (Reed, I.2.80). The representation could also suggest that the man was so bent against everyone due to his own personal insecurities and fears of how his inner image would be viewed by society.

Juxtaposition and scene transitions

Several scenes within the play show contradicting views or sub-scenes onstage at one time. Examples of such scenes are: the flash to a bebopper talking jive about Louis in scene one (Reed, I.1.8); Mamie appearing for a monologue turned dialogue with Lil in front of Ike and Kay—which later transitions to J. Edgar snooping behind Lil and Kay (Reed, I.2.46-91); etc.

In reading “…High C”, I found myself wondering what additional action was supposed to take place on stage, as there were several cues for slides to be projected; nowhere had I read any description of the images that were to be shown—other than being described in dialogue/performance cues. I found this void in direction to be a bit annoying, however I was capable of continuing the story.

Overall, I would say that the experience of reading “…High C” was greater due to the depth in which the stage/scene direction went; I was capable of creating a much more entertaining stage in my mind, whereas “…Earnest” left me with simple characters on a stage.

Works Cited

Reed, Ishmael. "The C Above High C". 1997. ENGL 200: Composition and Literature. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2011. Web. 3 July 12

Wilde, Oscar. “The Importance of Being Earnest.” 1895. ENGL 200: Composition and Literature. Boston: McGraw-Hill, 2011. Web. 3 July 12

---

“Literature and Performance” was originally published on J. Palmer

COLL300 — Evaluating Sources

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Prof. Myron
COLL300
Source Evaluations
June 30, 2012

Source 1: Journal of Emergency Management

In visiting the APUS library for a different assignment, I happened to notice that access to a new publication had been acquired—the Journal of Emergency Management. I took time away from the original task that had brought me to the library in order to peruse the publication; in doing so, I discovered an article which contained some information that I will be incorporating into my research. This new source’s information and my evaluation of said source follows:

McCauley-Bush, P., et al. (2012) Assessment of communication needs for emergency
management officials in high-consequence emergencies. Journal of Emergency Management, 10(1), 15-25. Retrieved June 28, 2012 from:

Credibile Author:

The research reported in this article was conducted by a team of nine individuals; all authors possess a Bachelors of Science or higher and are affiliated with a university in either an engineering or technology capacity.

Reliable Publisher:

I had not heard of the Journal of Emergency Management prior to the aforementioned discovery, nor have I been able to locate any reviews of the publication. I will assume that the publication is reliable as it does appear in the school library—which means that the publication was sought after by a member of the school faculty; if I cannot trust in the credibility of an instructor’s choices, then why am I pursuing a degree with this institution?

Accuracy:

The basis of my desire to use this article lies in the data that was revealed regarding the numbers of emergency managers using certain technologies—primarily smart-phones—and the degree to which these managers feel comfortable in using the technology. While it will be fairly easy for me to find numbers of “average Americans”, discovering the numbers for emergency managers alone would have been more difficult. Based on the numbers being presented for this specific use—as well as other findings this article reported—I feel comfortable in relying upon the accuracy of this report, as the charts seem to align fairly well with those produced for the “average consumer”.

Current Information:

Note is made that the study was first revealed in July of 2011; the latest reference made in the research was to an article accessed in November of 2011.

Objectivity:

It does not appear that any of the participants have any sort of bias toward or against the use of technology. Costs of research are reported to have been covered by a grant from the National Science Foundation.

Source 2: American Psychological Association

One of my original picks for sourced material includes an article that was published by the APA. This article focuses on the ability of using “everyday” technologies—such as the social media avenues that are the focus of my paper. This source’s information and my evaluation of said source follows:

Aten, J. et al. (2010) Everyday Technologies for Extraordinary Circumstances: Possibilities for Enhancing Disaster Communication. Psycological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 3(1), 16-20.

Credibile Author:

The research reported in this article was conducted by a team of six individuals; all affiliated with a university’s psychology department.

Reliable Publisher:

The APA is recognized as a credible and reliable publisher of materials relating to human capacities and abilities relating to psychology and general mental abilities. As the research I am conducting deals with informing the public of tragic events—which cause varied emotional and psychological responses—a viewpoint from the mental health community is advantageous.

Accuracy:

This article relies upon other studies that have been conducted with regard to the use and consumption of various comminucations technologies by the general populace; included in the technologies are social media avenues, cellular devices, and general “Web 2.0” services. The article also uses examples of the response to events such as the 2001 World Trade Center attacks, 2005’s Hurricane Katrina, and the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre—the latter two events having social media available for the spread of news.

Current Information:

Though the article was originally published in December of 2010 and relies upon events occurring more than five years ago, the concept is still fresh; additionally one fundamental value of emergency management is to reflect upon previous disasters in order to learn from them. The article also sources other writings and publications as recent as 2009 and 2010—one of particular interest being an article discussing how a Haitian survived the 2010 earthquake by taking advantage of an “iPhone app”. Further research into this article’s sourced information will likely provide additional information that may prove useful—if not better than that I’ve already compiled—regardless of publication date.

Objectivity:

It does not appear that any of the participants have any sort of bias toward or against the use of technology. There is no mention of any funding for the research, opinion, or conclusion.

---

“COLL300 — Evaluating Sources” was originally published on J. Palmer

Analyzing Academic Writing

…yes, this is another response to a classroom forum:

Forums: Week Four Analyzing Academic Writing

In her recent article in Teaching English in the Two Year College, Teresa Thonney outlines six standard features of academic writing:

Writers respond to what others have said about their topic.

Writers state the value of their work and announce the plan for their papers.

Writers acknowledge that others might disagree with the position they’ve taken.

Writers adopt a voice of authority.

Writers use academic and discipline specific vocabulary.

Writers emphasize evidence, often in tables, graphs, and images. (348)

To complete this week’s forum posting, use the Michigan link located under the “Guiding Questions and Required Readings” Tab to locate an academic paper related to your field of study and a paper not related to your field of study. Read both papers, paying close attention to the six features of academic writing noted above. Which standards are present in each paper? How does the presence or absence of these standards affect the quality of each paper.Compose a 200-300 word posting in which you report your observations to your classmates. Consider what you have learned and can apply to your own research writing in this class and beyond. To help us locate the papers you have analyzed be sure to provide the paper’s title and follow the citation directions on the homepage of the Web site. If you cannot find a paper related to your major on the Michigan site, you can use one paper from the APUS library site. Go to the library’s home page, click on “Tutorials” and then select “Great Student Papers” from the left hand menu.
Be sure to respond to at least two of your peers. Original Response is due by midnight Thursday and should be between 250-300 words; peer responses of at least 100 words are due by midnight Sunday.

Note: The focus on the forum posts is on quality content, not simply meeting a minimum word requirement.

For this task I compared two papers—both being critiques/assessments offering opinion and suggestion—of a specific element within their respective fields; for the paper related to my field of study—Emergency Management—I chose a paper submitted to the APUS collection entitled “Community Vulnerability Assessment”; for the paper unrelated to my field, I chose a paper from the MICUSP collection entitled “A Brief Critique of the DSM-IV”.

Structurally, both papers were similar following a format in which a brief introduction of the purpose is defined, bodies of the work were separated into specific sections and given an appropriate heading relating to the subtopics, ending with final conclusion; this format is to be expected of most writings regardless of study. Unsurprisingly, other similarities arose falling under Ms. Thonney’s standards.

Within the introductions of the papers both students covered the first two of Ms. Thonney’s outlined standards: response to others as well as stating the value and purpose of the writing. Lest the idea or focus of the paper is completely original—meaning that no thought has been given by any other member of the community—each writing will be in response to what another has stated in regard to the topic; this concept should be a given. The introductions will invariably mention the author’s purpose and declaration of value, also; otherwise there isn’t much point in laying the thoughts out onto paper—or committing them to the electronic ether, as it is done more commonly today. With the purpose and value established, each author also begins to attempt to speak with an authoritative voice; again, what would be the point in writing an analysis/assessment, criticism, or essay of any kind without having a strong viewpoint?

Once adopting the disciplines of authority in order to strike the point across, the author of any such work will make use of field/community-specific terminology; doing so keeps the projected audience’s attention, as well as supports the air of authority in the author’s research and opinion. Attention and authority are the—of course—further supported when further evidence is given; in the case of these papers this is achieved in relying upon the works and studies of other authorities in the fields instead of using graphic representation—cycling back to Ms. Thonney’s point on responding to the works of others.

In my opinion, both documents are representative of excellent critiques; I do, however offer criticism to the “Community Vulnerability Assessment”, which seems to rely more upon opinion and conjecture than factual evidence. Aside from the introductory paragraph being a little weak in regard to possessing an authoritative voice, the paragraph contains a statement which lacks support:

“Approximately half of the apartment units are occupied at any given point in time with a high resident turnover.” (Timirgalieva, 2011)
This statement may be accurate, however supplying further evidence to support this point—either in the introduction or elsewhere in the body of the writing—through the use of tabular data would strengthen the claim. Additionally, this statement seems disconnected, as the focus seems to be community vulnerabilities based on demographics. Assumption can be made that the author was attempting to make the connection between the high-turnover and minority demographic; forcing an assumption, however, is not that wise, as it can lead to confusion, misdirection, and misinterpretation. The same mistake is made in the second paragraph, where one minority group is identified as being African-American—the author does not offer evidence to support this claim; furthermore, the author uses “significant portion” rather than supplying any ratio or percentage value (Timirgalieva, 2011).
Following paragraphs on the racial/cultural differences residing in the area, the author moves onto discussion of income inequalities; here the author once again relies upon the reader to make an assumption that the minority groups involved in the area are less-privileged in the monetary sense. Though the assumption may be “safe” that minority equals poverty, this is not always the case; as such, the assumption should be avoided.

In contrast, “A Brief Critique of the DSM-IV” withheld from making such blunders in assumption; in fact the critique used assumptions as one of the major arguing points against the APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The author of this critique used example of the assumption that persons exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia being mentally incompetent (MICUSP, 2010); as such, patients are given a diagnosis without being given opportunity of voicing their own opinion. Through this the author suggests that patients may be incorrectly diagnosed and incapacitated further, whereas if the patient was given better opportunity, a different method of treatment could be applied, giving the patient equilibrium instead of a medicinally induced imprisonment.

In review of these two papers, the more critical faults I found revolved around the lack of support and reliance upon assumption. I hope that I may stray from making the same mistakes once I have completed my paper for this class; though I believe that it will be a difficult task, as I will most likely be lazy, or otherwise driven to a mental state where I proclaim, “Geez, it’s this late, I’m tired, hungry, and I don’t care! I’m clicking ‘submit’, anyway!”

…I hope it won’t come to that…

…but it is foreseeable! 😉

Works Cited

Michigan Corpus of Upper-level Student Papers. (2010). A Brief Critique of the DSM-IV. Ann Arbor, MI: The Regents of the University of Michigan. Retrieved June 29, 2012 from:

Timirgalieva, Olga. (2011). Community Vulnerability Assessment. Retrieved June 29, 2012 from: http://www.apus.edu/Online-Library/tutorials/student-publications/great-papers/Timirgalieva-2012.pdf

This post received the following comments:

Michael Johnson:

Jeremiah,

After reading your forum I don’t believe anyone was so precise in their details of articles they critiqued. I went to the site and after I read the entry on Community Vulnerability Assessment I can see what you were talking about, being a bit confused. From my point of view the demographics really did not support that stanza as you so mentioned yourself. I to believe that Community Vulnerability Assessment seemed to be more opinionated than factual. If there is not an authoritative voice you can loose the audience you are trying to keep entertained and they will lose interest and skip to the end and give it a cold hard ed response.

Colemon Myron:

Jeremiah:

I liked the fact that within your initial post you used examples from the text of the essays to prove your points.
However, I wanted to see more than I saw.

Dr. Myron

Charles Niba:

Hello Jeremiah Good job in your post. I did read the paper on community vulnerability also as non-related paper to my field and malaria in the twenty first century from micusp.elicorpora.info/simple/ as a related subject. however comparing both papers, the former ( community vulnerability) was well present both in style and language even facts, he clearly examines vulnerability in that community which can be used in other communities as well, but for the later paper ( Malaria) the writer did not meet my expectations I was hoping to read what does malaria means in the twenty first century, is it still a global threat? and how many are still at risk of the disease globally.
However I like your presentation and comparison of both papers.

---

“Analyzing Academic Writing” was originally published on J. Palmer

This Land is Your Land

Another essay assignment…

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Professor Mendel
ENGL200
June 29, 2012

Dear Prof. Mendel:

For this essay I chose to pick on Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land.” In this essay I’ve tried to stay focused on the topic of the differences between the written, poetic form that we are presented with in the text and the vocalized version of which the majority of us are accustomed. For a brief moment I touched on the topic of how the addition of music to verse can have an effect on interpretation and meaning—how could I not, as the two topics do cross over with this piece?

As always, thank you for your time and criticisms; I look forward to seeing what marks I’ve earned with this work.

Sincerely,
Jeremiah Hall Palmer

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Professor Mendel
ENGL200
June 29, 2012

This Land is Your Land:
Song of Patriotism or Commentary?

It can be very difficult—next to impossible, even, for this author—to read the lyrics of Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land” without experiencing the melodic accompaniment echoing through the mind. “This Land…” has been implanted in many of our minds over the course of years, starting for many of us in elementary school, as one of the first songs taught in music education. Singing along internally comes fairly easily—almost annoyingly—while letting the eyes follow the printed text of the poem; that is, until the mentally pictured bouncing ball that followed the words hits the brick wall that is the additional “unknown” stanzas. Not only does the melodic flow of the words disrupted by the discovery that more of the poem exists—but perspective is changed, once these “new” passages are read, and discovery is made that there is additional meaning that has been stricken from the more “patriotic” version.

At the start of the poem, Guthrie illustrates a man’s nomadic wandering across the earthen face of the nation; visions of the vast and bountiful picturesque landscape are shared, with the exclamation that all of this is here for us to enjoy—this land was made for you and me (Guthrie, 5-8). Guthrie continues on in painting this picture; underlining that from Pacific to Atlantic, our eyes can see—and if we open them up further, our ears can even “hear” a resounding voice telling us that the majestic is ours to have and share freely (Guthrie, 11-12). Pressing further in his writing, however, Guthrie shows us that—sadly—the wonderful and sentimental truth he has shared is anything but; nature’s beauty and freedoms aren’t available to us all, after all.

A sign is seen ahead, and when approached, it is seen emblazoned with the words, “No Trespassing”; as with most signs which we see making such a declaration, our wandering minstrel notices that the opposite side is blank—suggestion is then made that perhaps we belong on the other side of the sign (Guthrie, 17-20). An interesting point of discussion arises from these simple few lines—is this some sort of symbolic representation? Has this simple poem that was taught to us as school-age children turned into political commentary? Continuing on, our lyrical guide takes us to a small inner-city scene, where poor and down-trodden seek out assistance (Guthrie, 22-23); following this, Guthrie poses the question, “Is this land made for you and me?” (Guthrie, 24)

We have gone from hearing, and singing what had been a rather calm, mellow, and upbeat song, to reading a somewhat depressing poem that makes us question the direction with which our nation is heading and the troubles that we—as a nation—are facing. In a land of wondrous beauty and opportunity, poverty is ever-present; varied laws and regulations withhold some from achieving the dream. There is still hope available, however, as Guthrie continues; he tells us in his words that he has the ability to defy the “No Trespassing” signs and be master of his own destiny and enjoy the elements written/ sung about earlier, and that “nobody living can ever make me turn back.” (Guthrie, 27)

In reviewing the original writing of “This Land…” and comparing it to the version most commonly known in song, we can see a difference in the interpretative meanings. Simply taking the traditional lyrics alone without musical accompaniment, we can see that the words can be slightly melancholy; yet when we apply the music, the words gain some “bounce” and are brought to a more comfortable and cheery level of relaxing and hopeful reflection of what the dreams of the nation are. Stripping the music away, however, and examining the entire written work exposes a writing of saddened concern for humanity and political system in America. It would be difficult to imagine what the traditional song would sound like with the addition of these stanzas; would the melody be capable of carrying these darker lyrics? And, had the additional verses been included, would the song have ever been published and risen to being such a commonly known song, given it would have been political commentary? I doubt it.

It is for this reason that I believe that the additional lyrics have been excluded from the song’s performance by nearly every performer—with exception to Woody’s son, Arlo Guthrie. The song has grown to be known by so many, that the discovery or inclusion of the additional verses would cause upset to persons who have grown so accustomed to the vision of a man, journeying the nation in solitude, breathing in the beauty, and finding peace. Any change would destroy this image and simply be unacceptable to the collective majority.

Works Cited
Guthrie, W. “This Land is Your Land” ENGL200: Composition and Literature. American Public University System. 2011. McGraw-Hill. PDF/Web. Retrieved from: http://ebooks.apus.edu.ezproxy1.apus.edu/ENGL200/Perkins_2011_unit2.pdf

---

“This Land is Your Land” was originally published on J. Palmer

Analyzing "My Papa's Waltz"

…kind of a follow-up of the previous weeks’ forum posting…

It would appear that–in a way–I have already tackled this particular forum’s task through my response to last week’s forum. In writing about the form—the methods of rhythm, etc.—used in “My Papa’s Waltz”, I dove into how the structure and choice of words could have an affect on the reader’s interpretation, thus changing the meaning; in doing so, I uncovered two methods of critical response: psychological and reader-response.

In my initial review of “My Papa’s Waltz”, I came to the conclusion that the poem was simply about a father and son goofing off after supper, and getting on the mother’s nerves in doing so; I came to this conclusion based on reader-response—my own personal experience—as well as an historical approach. I hadn’t researched the period in which the piece was authored, but had let my own interpretation of the language and scene draw a conclusion of the setting; primarily due to the drink of choice being whiskey—“the whiskey on your breath…” (Roethke, 1), the fact that the father’s hands were filthy—“…palm caked hard with dirt…” (Roethke, 14), pans being set on a shelf instead of tucked in a cupboard—“…the pans slid from the kitchen shelf…” (Roethke, 5-6), I assumed that the tale took place in the late 1800s closing in on the turn of the century. After researching further and finding that the author was born nearly a decade after the beginning of the 20th century, and that this piece was published in 1942, I see that my assumptions of period are off—yet not by much, as a lower working-class home of that period would still fit within the same assumptions I had made.

From the melded psychological and reader-response viewpoints, we are still left with differing opinions. Through my own experiences I fail to see where the poem is one of abuse; whereas any person that may have had experiences with an alcoholic and/or abusive parent might see the work as a tale of how a child had been beaten, yet still seemed to possess a slight amount of unconditional love for the abuser.

For this forum prompt, we were asked to find an approach that would be best used in criticizing one of the works we read; I believe that in the case of “My Papa’s Waltz”, three approaches are available—with two standing at the forefront, joined in a combined approach. Given the few setting descriptors we can approach it with a slight historical view; however, as the poem is emotional in nature, we are left with the psychological and the reader-response. Due to the strength of the emotions contained in this poem—strong, perhaps due to the fact that tale centers around the view of a former child—reader-response comes out on top.

…based upon my own personal psychological and emotional response to the poem, I still see it as an innocent tale of a father and son enjoying a time together.

Works Cited
Roethke, Theodore. “My Papa’s Waltz.” ENGL 200: Composition and Literature. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2011. Web. 16 August 2011.

This post received the following responses:

Jason Watson:

Jeremiah,

Applying the reader response, I see this, like you said as the point of view of the reader and where they came from. After reading the piece, I don’t really see any abuse at all. I more see a hard-working father who might of had a little too much to drink after work. So the child hangs on, noticing the hand holding the wrist was battered on one knuckle(Roethke, 10). And when the father misses a step, the child’s ear will scrape against the belt buckle. While they are dancing, the father’s dirty hand keeps time to the music by patting the top of the child’s head while they are dancing. Of course, it’s time for bed and the child does not want to go yet. Like you said, it depends on the person, and where they come from.

Jason

Young Cho:

Hello Jeremiah! First of all, your forum was a great response to the poem. And you also wrote quite a lot so good job on that part! Reading your forum made me change my view on this poem. I, too, thought that the overall story of “My Papa’s Waltz” was an abuse of a child by his father. But considering the fact that this poem takes place back in the 1940s, we have to take a different approach as to what people viewed acceptable in that time period. Sure, if this were to happen in today’s society, the father would be sentenced to jail and be fined for child abuse. But back then, a little tap would not be so controversial. In addition, alcoholic parents are never a good sign of child’s safety. You did a great job of explaining your case. And thank you for chaning my view on this poem. Have a great day!

Denzel Caddell:

Jeremiah,
This poem was a bit confusing to me while reading it the first time. I didn’t research any information about this time I just went off what I already knew. There were certain things in this poem that didn’t make sense to me like the line “palm caked hard with dirt”. I think this poem is unique because it can be viewed in different ways. I think the author wanted this poem to be debated and talked about. I think that if the author wanted us to know the child was being abused then he would have made it clear to us. The poem was interesting to read and kept me wondering. It was done creatively and was well written. I believe that they’re two ways to view this poem but I’m not sure to what exactly I think. If I had to make a decision I would say that it was about a boy playing with his father.

---

“Analyzing "My Papa's Waltz"” was originally published on J. Palmer

An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark”

The following is one more little essay I wrote for one of my classes…

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Professor Mendel
ENGL200
June 28, 2012

Dear Prof. Mendel:

I must say that this essay took quite a bit of time to complete. I chose to use The Birth-Mark as the tale to place under attack, with the concepts of symbolism within the story as the focus of the essay. In reading the story it became clear to me that the topic of the story was that of perfection—or imperfection—and how man should find solace rather than aggravation with the slightest imperfections and disappointments—see beauty, balance and harmony in the chaos, instead of discontent—lest he suffer additional losses. An easy concept to write about, I thought; discuss how the mark on Georgiana’s cheek was the balance in her life—the balance in all of life—which made her beautiful to begin with. With an odd twist of irony, I stared blankly at my screen for hours trying to think of the “perfect” way to begin a writing in which I planned to speak downwardly about perfection.

To be frank, I am not that pleased with how this essay has turned out; it has not reached the expectations I had—more irony. Had I been able to think a bit more clearly—and if the assignment allowed for outside resources and influences—I would have tried to write a bit more about some of the psychological and religious aspects of the story, which are further symbolized in the relationship between Aylmer and Aminadab—I found a neat little piece online discussing the “bad anima”.

In spite of my limitations and my battle with writer’s block, I am very content with the fact that I did manage to have words spring forth from my fingers, tapped out here for you to read. I do know that my work will yield a better result than that of Aylmer’s, even though it is of a quality much less than what I had originally desired.

Once again, I would like to thank you for taking the time to review my work. I do hope that it has not been too hard to follow—though I wouldn’t be surprised if it is, considering the hours I’ve spent trying to untangle my thoughts. As always, do feel free to critique the work and offer up as much criticism—humorous or otherwise—crack if time allows.

Sincerely,
Jeremiah Hall Palmer

Jeremiah Hall Palmer
Professor Mendel
ENGL200
June 28, 2012

An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark”

Nathaniel Hawthorne, perhaps most widely known for the Scarlett Letter, has been argued to be one of the most brilliant minds of American literature, especially with regard to some of the subjects he tackled in his varied shorts and novels. Hawthorne frequently tackled matters of psychology, though the evidence of these arguments were oft-times buried within symbolic elements in a matter akin to a moralistic fable, with the final reveal becoming clearer toward the end of the narrative; The Birth-Mark is one of Hawthorne’s works which employs such techniques. Though the battle of science and nature is an obvious conflict in the tale—something which is underlined heavily as the main argument for the story, within the first two paragraphs—it is the birth-mark which becomes the main symbolic element for the rest of the psychological conflict throughout the rest of the writing.

Aylmer was a man of science—knowledgeable and arrogant, with neuroses that may be described as narcissistic, perfectionist, and, perhaps, even a dash of a God-complex. This man who thought himself to be wise and worldly had fallen for a radiant beauty named Georgiana, that seemed perfect in every way, save one small blemish on her left cheek—a reddish birth-mark that had a shape favoring that of a tiny, miniscule hand. This imperfection became a point on which Aylmer obsessed—obsessed so much that in his own mind he began to see the mark symbolize nearly every negative in the world and in humanity; the pigmented skin became a “symbol of his wife’s liability to sin, sorrow, decay, and [die].” (Hawthorne, par. 8)

Aylmer’s obsession grew to a point where his distaste for the imperfection became subject of discussion between the two; eventually the hatred for the mark infected Georgiana, and drove her to desire it to be removed by some miracle of her husband’s science—even if death were a risk. Aylmer quickly jumped at the chance, proclaiming that he had been mentally concocting methods and formulae that would yield positive results in removing this fault of nature. Despite having had a dream that foreshadowed a negative outcome—a dream which sparked this discussion of the mark—Aylmer obliged Georgiana—and his ego, or id—to experiment with the mark’s removal.

Whilst in her husband’s laboratory, awaiting the procedure that was to remove the mark, Georgiana learns of Aylmer’s varied experiments; many of which having been failures, and a few successes being those that could potentially unravel life for one or many. Georgiana finds a journal of her husband’s, and finds how deeply depressed of a man he is—outlining failures as catastrophes and successes as failures, as nothing measured up to the high expectations he had set. Later, as Georgiana investigates more of her husband’s life in the laboratory, Aylmer confesses that he had already begun to experiment on the mark, long before her consent.

Eventually, Aylmer presents Georgiana with the elixir and watches her drift into a sleep. As he watches, he sees the mark slowly fade away. Finally, as the mark draws to a point where it has nearly vanished, Georgiana awakens, and announces to her husband that she is dying.

The birth-mark became yet another one of Aylmer’s obsessions—one of his experiments at creating something perfect, or modifying something existing in order to make it perfect. Aylmer’s haughtiness and belief in that he possessed—or could possess—the ability to change Nature’s design proved fateful time and again, and this time caused him to lose his wife. Symbolically, the birth-mark represented any possible ill-perceived problem seen in the world to which men of science wish to attempt to change. The birth-mark also stood as a symbolic representation of the paradoxical statement that within imperfection there is perfection—sometimes what we may see as wrong is right for certain purpose.

Aylmer, too, is a symbolic representation of certain sins and psychoses that are present in all of man, should we allow for these issues to take control of our lives. Aylmer desired much more out of his life than what was attainable—he desired to discover all the answers he could out of life without accepting that, at times, there simply isn’t an answer. Aylmer didn’t seem to possess the concepts of patience, acceptance, and serenity; had these elements been part of his psyche his character would have been quite different, and the poor Georgiana might still have life.

Works Cited
Hawthorne, Nathaniel. “The Birth-Mark” ENGL200: Composition and Literature. American Public University System. 2011. McGraw-Hill. PDF/Web. Retrieved from: http://ebooks.apus.edu.ezproxy1.apus.edu/ENGL200/Perkins_2011_unit2.pdf

---

“An Essay on Hawthorne’s “The Birth-Mark”” was originally published on J. Palmer